Does Santa Bring all the Gifts?

I love the magic of Christmas and especially how children contribute their own special touch to the festivities. I like the idea that children can imagine there is an elf dressed in red velvet with a bag of goodies on his back and flying reindeer waiting on the roof while they are sleeping.

Hmmm... perplexing though, drawing the line, trying to make an appropriate decision on how to steer all the good intentions.

For many years, Christmas was always a difficult holiday for me to manage emotionally, partly because as a child I bought into a false reality of the holidays that triggered confusion, sadness, and self doubt.  It was a brainwashing full of mixed messages. How could a Santa bring such extravagant gifts to some children while others were left to drool and hang onto the hope that maybe next year Santa would find them worthy?  I could never understand why some had so much and others had little or nothing.  In my youth and infinite wisdom, challenging this disparity with the adults in my family only infuriated them, earning me another infraction; not an unusual accomplishment for me.

Having a family of your own gives you a chance to do things differently. I decided early on not to be intoxicated by the "spend, even if you don't have it" drug and there would be 1 gift under the tree with Santa's name on it. Oh no, I wasn't going to let ALL the credit go to someone who had not been in the trenches working hard day in and day out to keep our family healthy and happy.

Not all the gifts needed to be a toy or game so I tried to be creative and a little mysterious including gifts that were practical, and cleverly disguised, like the year I gave my son a clothes hamper, wrapped in holiday decorated paper with a handwritten note taped to the inside that read " Now that you are 12 it is time for you to start doing your own laundry.  In order to facilitate this transition it will be necessary for you to keep your laundry separate, thus the hamper.  This gift comes with personalized instructions in the form of one on one step by step training with me.  Congratulations on this major achievement, Love Mom".

I am a big believer in cultivating the imagination so children can dream, hope and aspire to do good works for a lifetime, not for the goal of a single day.  We as adults in their lives need to continue to provide young people gifts that don't come from stores or online shopping.  Yeah I know, I know, I know and I don't mean to sound sappy, but I am amazed at how many of you are afraid to let your children wait for that little something special or maybe even earn that little something special.  Some of you are still giving your teenagers money to purchase holiday gifts for others including their parents.  What's that all about?

Now that I think about it, maybe one of the best gifts I have ever received at Christmas was not something that Santa left under the tree but the feelings stirred up from all of what he didn't leave under the tree; how these feelings have motivated me to be truer to myself and as I move forward, how I choose to engage in a few more meaningful passages in life with my children and others in a positive way.